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Kedoshim: Uprooting the Grudge


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Recall a time that someone, a friend, partner, or family member, did something that hurt or bothered you. Perhaps they forgot to take out the garbage or were scrolling through their phone while you were trying to have an important conversation with them; perhaps they said or did something hurtful that cut deep at a sensitive part of you. Did you feel sad, hurt, angry? How did it affect the way you spoke to and acted around the person? Did you notice yourself judging the offense as trivial, and feeling frustrated with yourself for “taking it personally” or “being so sensitive”? Did this help alleviate your pain or anger at this person? Perhaps you tried to “get over it,” to brush it off and not “make a big deal” about it. You tried to keep acting nicely to the person, as if nothing happened; so of course they did not realize that anything actually did. Three weeks later, the person once again commits an offense; another neglected chore or accidentally insensitive joke or comment made at your expense. How’s that brushed-off anger and hurt now? Has it magically dissipated, or is it bubbling fiercely right beneath the surface, threatening to